My hate of food goes back to when I was young, being told I wasn't skinny enough. So I started starving myself. Unfortunately, my love of food would call me back and I would eat and eat a lot. I'm not sure if I was a binge eater per se, particularly during my college years. I was quite thin and eating was just something you did between all the other stuff going on. This all changed when I came back home and started to work.
Once you're working, going out to eat becomes a big part of socializing. You eat, you drink, and sometimes you eat some more to sober up before you pass out. However, as I got older and exercised less, while still going out then I started to put in more pounds. This is when I discovered lemonade cleanses (which most people I knew used as a diet really). At some point I lost 20lbs doing that cleanse, just to be told by my doctor that I was much too weak because I had lost so much muscle mass. I also suspect that doing those lemonade cleanse (ie. starvation diets) led to other health complications, which I wont go into right now.
At some point I just couldn't do the lemonade cleanses, so I started doing crazy calorie diets, trying to stop myself at 1,000 a day; though 1200 was the very minimum they recommended for me. This is when my binging really started. I would devoutly keep my diet but once I was off the diet then I just lost all control and would buy like $20 worth of candy, ice cream, and cookies. I wasn't a big chip person, all sugar for me. You'd laugh now but I was quite good at eating right during the day, organic, local, all that bs that at night I completely forgot. Also, I'd control myself all day, whether by choice or because I was busy, then just eat as much as I wanted at night, which was always too much. Then I'd crash. I think going to bed with my stomach twice the size of what it should be was an every day thing. I blamed it on my scheduled: work was at fault for me working late hours so of course I have to eat late then go to bed full.
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